Divorce at 40-year low but only because couples can’t afford to split

Fewer couples are divorcing than at any time since 1974 because they can’t afford to.

Divorce fees and the difficult housing market mean couples are being forced to live together despite ending their relationship.

The number of divorces granted in England and Wales rose in most years from the late Fifties until the Nineties, but since 2003 the number of legal separations has plummeted by 34 per cent from 153,065 to 113,949 in 2009. A survey by the Illicit Encounters website, for people seeking extra-marital affairs, has found that more than 31,000 married couples in London have been put off divorce because they can’t afford to move out or pay for legal fees.

Some 38 per cent of the site’s 78,000 London members felt the stress of selling their home in the current climate had affected their decision to stay married while 42 per cent were deterred by the cost of the divorce itself. Average legal fees in the UK are an estimated £13,000 but can rise to £50,000 in difficult cases.

Louise Graham, 36, who lives with her husband in Clapham, told the Standard she had been “saving up for a divorce” for two years. “We can’t afford to move,” she said. “We have separate bedrooms. It isn’t unpleasant but it’s a difficult situation.”

Rosie Freeman-Jones, of Illicit Encounters, said: “We’ve seen a dramatic rise in membership in London as the recession has forced people to stay in marriages they would rather get out of.”

Survey of bankers who have had extramarital affairs

A recent survey of bankers (male and female) who have had extramarital affairs threw up some interesting facts.

72% of those bankers surveyed admitted having at least one affair

87% admitted to having affairs which involved a work colleague / client

82% of male bankers who messed around at work ended up having an affair with a more junior work colleague

26% of male bankers had had an affair with their PA / secretary

A male banker is four times more likely to have an affair than a female banker

37% of male bankers admitted that they had affairs because they were cheaper than getting a divorce

24% said that they ‘played away’ because their wife now reminded them more of their mother

17% said that they did it for the thrill

12% said they did it because their wife no longer ‘understood’ them

5% said they did it because they could

4% said that they did it in the hope of getting caught

The average ‘affair’ for a male banker last 21 days, which incorporates just 4 meetings. The physical side of the relationship usually peters out after meeting 3. Including presents, the average affair costs the male banker £352 ($568) per meeting.

34% of male bankers say that they felt guilty after they have had an affair (but never after the first 3 secret meetings)

71% of male bankers said that, provided they weren’t caught, an extramarital affair proved to be good for their marriage, as they tried harded after the affair ended

The average period between male banker affairs is 3 years 7 months

63% of male bankers said that they were convinced their wives knew about their affairs, but said nothing for the sake of the relationship

Just 5% said that they thought their wives had also had an affair

The average ‘affair’ for a female banker lasts 136 days, which incorporates 31 meetings. The physical side of the relationship usually peters out after about meeting 25.

71% of female bankers said that they felt guilty after every illicit meeting

The average period between female banker affairs is 5 years 4 months

Just 3% of female bankers said that they were convinced their husbands knew about their affairs

44% of female bankers said that they had affairs because their husband appeared to have lost interest in them

41% said that they weren’t looking for an affair (it just happened)

11% said that they ‘played away’ to help ease work pressures

13% confirmed that they had had an affair with their immediate boss